FORGIVENESS

I believe we would all agree that being hurt, deceived, or betrayed does not feel good. I think you would also agree that it’s not easy to forgive someone who has inflicted such pain. It may even be understandable that we become angry, defiant, vindictive, fearful, or even blame ourselves.

To take it a step further, we might start to look for evidence to support why we should be angry, defiant, vindictive, or fearful. We go online to find evidence of why you should be in pain. We read books to justify our pain. We enlist others to validate our pain.

While we are living at this low level of being, we may want someone to pay for this pain. We want the other person to feel what we feel… and maybe worse. We tell them what they did over and over again. We tell them how they made you feel. We may cry and cry and cry… and yet we still feel the pain, the hurt. It seems nothing relieves us of our agony.

The person says, “I’m sorry” or maybe not. The person does something nice for us. The person says, “I made a mistake, please forgive me.” Nothing makes the pain go away and maybe you become angrier. Maybe the pain is so deep, you become lethargic.

And then a little light shines upon you and you ask, “what am I to say, to do, to feel to make things better… for me?”

I believe we would all agree that forgiveness is for ourselves and not so much for the other person. However, we cannot begin to forgive the other person until we forgive ourselves, to love ourselves enough to let go of the pain. For all we know the other person has moved on, maybe not knowing the depth of your pain, possibly not concerned, and possibly so deeply affected by the pain inflicted that they are ashamed, remorseful and know not how to show it. What we can control is our reaction, our attitude, our feelings. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it’s going to take some time for me to accept the pain and move forward. Yes, I need to forgive myself first, assure I am okay, assure my love for me is solid, embrace the thought that I want to be free of this pain. Then, and only then, can I begin to forgive you.

Peace, poise, and power bring wisdom. Breathe and know you have the control to choose how you feel at any given moment. It’s understandable that it hurts. Though one thing is for sure, if you choose to let go of the pain, if you choose to forgive, you can move forward with peace. You can see the life lesson, the learning that will yield growth for you and possibly others. You can see the beauty of life’s ups and downs that make us stronger, vibrant, and fearless in our pursuit of LIVING each and every moment to the fullest.

In closing, a word to all who are susceptible to inflicting pain on another. Oh, that’s all of us. Whether intentional or not, may you love yourself enough to accept, apologize, and forgive. Life is filled with choices. Choose to be your best you… everyday!

Much Love, Sherrie